your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
