Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
