SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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