My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
