Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
