All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
