are you still at the devil's house?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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