Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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