U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
