I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
