It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
