It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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