you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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