Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
