my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
