Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
