id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
