I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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