The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
