I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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