11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
