nut hugger
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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