people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
