peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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