batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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