so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
