Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
