I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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