actually, I'm a sock model
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
