Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
pray to the hookup gods
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
