like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
