It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
