i barfeds in our rink
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
