yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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