We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Randomize
