you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
