i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
