shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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