fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
