i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
