the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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