Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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