I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
