The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
