'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
