Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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