Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
