Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
