That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
