Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
