would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
