Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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